“Where are we going?” Hot or Cold

I looked down to see a compass spinning wildly in front of me. “Where are we going?”, my spirit asked Papa God. The needle spun rapidly clockwise then jerked back in the opposite direction. It was completely directionless. Which meant I was too. Then came the gentle reply, “There’s something blocking its connection to the earth’s magnetism.” He spoke it to me like an observing companion, and the realization dawned on me instantly.

There is no direction because something is blocking the connection.

We both peered underneath and a magnet was hidden beneath the compass causing it to be demagnetized from the right source. In this visual encounter with God, as much as I wanted to will myself to pull the magnet away from the compass I couldn’t because it was a vision not intended for only me. After the visual encounter with Jesus, I asked Him what the deal was. I felt Him say,

This removal of the wrong magnetic source, and reconnection to the true source was an act of repentance that we would have to do collectively as the body of Christ.


Praying into what exactly “the wrong magnet” severing our connection could be, I heard the Lord say “live by FAITH, not by sight.” We are looking for direction from the world, from the things we can see with our physical eyes, and not living by faith. This is why the compass spins violently in every direction, with no clear objective to move towards.

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

For we live by faith, not by sight. 
We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So we make it our goal to please him,

2 Corinthians 4:17-18, 5:7-9a NIV (emph. added)

I feel this pull from the Lord, a longing to simply hold our faces between His hands, willing us to just look at Him. I believe He is moving us into a time of making the ultimate decision to be ALL…or nothing. To lay down our lives, our will, our desires, our dreams and to live our lives for Him no matter what lies ahead.

We are facing a fork in the road that looks a lot like a compass spinning out of control. “For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace as in all the churches of the saints (1 Cor. 14:33)” So if God isn’t bringing confusion, then something else is. We are in a time where we are challenged not to look at what can be seen, but at what is unseen. I sense one aspect of this confusion and lack of direction that we are experiencing is coming from the constant outlets of information and escapes from reality flowing around the world that are feeding our bellies with malnourishing food. The media is happy to give you direction right now, your panicked family members telling you how you should be reacting to the global pandemic, and even countless online Christian ministries meant to give you encouragement in this crisis; all of these can easily become the magnetic attraction your compass is pinned to. The result of our main source of direction coming from the horizontal (the physical) instead of the vertical, our personal relationship with God, will end up in not being able to see the direction God has for our lives anymore.

In this case, we are walking by sight and not by faith. We are living our life out of the affirmation of the channels around us, receiving information that feeds our souls in one way or another, and basing our purpose and perspective off of what we can see in the physical. All of this instead of seeking God for what He is doing in the unseen in our own lives and in the world. Living by sight and not by faith. And when we do this, we are displeasing to God. God has called His Bride, the church, the body of Christ to live by faith (Hab. 2:4, Romans 1:16, Galatians 3:11). In Hebrews 10:38, the scripture tells us plainly that if we don’t have faith, God finds no pleasure in us. That sounds harsh but it comes down to relationship. When we claim to believe in Him and yet we put our faith in the world, we are like an engaged woman who prostitutes herself on the side for easy money to take care of bills, food, pleasures, etc. Our Betrothed has endless riches He is waiting to pour out on us if only we accept His invitation of marriage, and yet we are trying to make a few dollars by giving away our everything to things that can never fill us completely. We can say that we love Him, but we can not truly love Him if we are putting our faith in the world.

So going back to this very basic, foundational concept of the Christian faith of actually having faith, the Lord reminded of Revelation 3:14-22. In context to the vision and the word, “live by faith and not by sight”, I wonder if we are facing ourselves at present as being a lukewarm body in whole. We must be either HOT or COLD. Being lukewarm, Jesus will spit us out as we face Him in these times to come. And He directly connects lukewarm to being satisfied with our comfort and success received from the world, which in His eyes is wretched, poor, blind and naked. As Jesus tells us in verse 19, “be zealous and repent.”

We must get back our zeal for the Lord. Getting back to earnestly desiring God alone, and earnestly going after loving Him with our entire being overflowing out of a daily revelation of His great love for us. Earnestly go after loving people like Jesus from every political party, economic background, nation and denomination regardless of how different they are from us. Completely compelled by love. So be zealous and repent. We must also repent, change our minds, turn away from our lukewarm ‘faith’. Repentance is something to be excited about! Turning to Jesus is not condemning at all but it is the greatest joy there is.

Are we on fire or ice cold? Are we all in or not at all?


Now, I know that I’ve spent a bit of time referencing scriptures that I felt confirmed this encounter I had with the Lord. This is because I had a strong sense that we, the body of Christ, need to get this immediately. Thus I tried to lay a foundation on the Word, so thanks for bearing with me for those who continued reading!

As followers of Jesus, we are His Bride. He waits patiently for us to leave our family, leave our belongings, and walk down the aisle to at last be married to Him and only Him. He delights in you. You are so beautiful, so lovely to Him. The cross is a perfect picture of just the eternal degree of lengths He has gone to show His love for you. He rose from the grave to conquer sin and death for you. He went up to Heaven so that He and the Father could make their home with you. He left His Holy Spirit, the Counselor, Comforter, and Compass to empower you with His Spirit equipped with His supernatural gifts to be Christ’s hands and feet on earth: healing the sick, raising the dead, casting out demons, feeding the poor, loving the fatherless; to be like Jesus. How can this be? The Infinite wants the finite to become like Him? The King wants the wasteful runaway to be a co-heir with His Son in His Kingdom? He loves you, with an everlasting love. And He is coming back for you. He is coming back for His Bride. That’s why this is important, to reject our lukewarm nature and be all in with Him.

Listen to me, O royal daughter; take to heart what I say.
Forget your people and your family far away.
For your royal Husband delights in your beauty;
honor Him, for He is your Lord.

The bride, a princess, looks glorious
in her golden gown.
In her beautiful (multi-colored) robes, she is led to the King,
accompanied by her bridesmaids.
What a joyful and enthusiastic procession
as they enter the King’s palace!

Psalm 45:10-11,13-15 NLT (emph. added)

This is our confidence. That we, the bride, the princess with many colors on her robes, colors representing every nation, tribe and tongue on earth, will soon be united as one body with our Bridegroom. We will walk by faith and not by sight. Our compass points us Home.


I do not own rights to this image. I can not find who created this beautiful artwork, so I can not properly give credit. But I see the signature @arte_carde, the little figure on the corner, and am blessed for the piece of art!

We know in part, and we see in part. So test all that I’ve said with the Lord for yourself. Ask Him questions, and listen for His response. He is your Source.

Mirrors and Chains

My head hangs a little as I look down at the dark ground. The first thing I notice is fog curling at the edges of a mirror in front of me, reflecting my old faux-leather combat boots. Behind that small one sitting on the ground, is a floor length mirror reflecting all of me. Beside those mirrors are rows and rows of mirrors encircling me. As I slowly turn around, utterly bewildered, I can see every angle of myself. It’s dark all around what I assume is a room, but I can’t really see where walls would be. It’s all just…darkness? Something like a spot light is shining directly down on me, as if I’m in some teenage clothing store’s dressing room. In fact, that thought brings a flashback to when I was fourteen standing before a mirror not so different from the one in front of me.

In the memory, I was at a local mall with my aunt shopping for new, trendy clothes for my first day at a public high school. I was transferring from a Christian private school, and I was terrified. This was my first time to even try on clothes at a store like this. A dimly lit teenage clothing store with paper thin models in swim suits, loud music, tight-fitting clothes and perfume clouds seeping out of the main entrance. I knew this wasn’t me, but I also knew this was the type of style the kids had at my new school. So here I stood with a size small covering me like a second skin. I refused to go up a size because the thought of wearing a size ‘Medium’ formed a knot in my throat and an onslaught of hot tears. I stared at my reflection and hated everything I saw looking back at me. Two years before that I stood in front of another mirror in a bathroom and thought for the first time that I was fat. This night I was at a twelve year old’s Halloween birthday party in which I made my own cute witch costume. I loved being creative, and honestly we couldn’t afford to buy one if I wanted to. My hair had gotten so long and curly. This was a time in my life where I first felt my body changing, maturing, and thought to myself that I was becoming a beautiful young girl. At the party there was a ton of pizza and I was trying all the different types of it because, I mean-do I even need an explanation? Come on, it’s pizza! But this young boy whom I had a crush on sat across from me, and laughed with a friend of mine while I ate. I smiled thinking he was just saying something funny to me, but then my friend yelled across the table, “he’s laughing because of how fast you’re eating!” It doesn’t sound that sinister, but the thought that food consumption could be something that made others look at you funny hooked a twisted self-image into me that grew into a mental prison over time. That night, at twelve, for the first time in my life I went into the bathroom crying. I looked at my reflection, turned to one side, and sucked my stomach in. I remember wondering if I could manage to stay focused on breathing ,in a way that wouldn’t make my stomach extend in and out while also continuing to clench my abs together, for the rest of the night. No more care-free eating, Lacey, for the next seven years of your life. I was caged inside the self-image nightmare with the name “Eating Disorder” branded on my sticking out collar bones.

So there you have it. Mirrors. And here I was again, standing before hundreds of them, big and small, and all around me. Unsettling. Yet this, I knew, was merely a vision. Honestly mirrors hadn’t bothered me much in a long while. Not since, Jesus crouched down and set me free from my eating-disorder prison at age nineteen. That was almost seven years ago now. Having two babies, gaining the weight, and dropping it in a healthy way was so healing for my soul on top of that radical deliverance as well. Now at age twenty six, food is normal, food is necessary, food is healthy, food is down right delicious- most of it anyways. Truthfully, sometimes I eat too much chocolate after my kids go to bed. Nonetheless the thought of running to the bathroom to purge what I just binged does not ding into my mind like an unwelcome fruit fly. No more starving myself or binging/purging. No, you see, that stronghold of fear of man and self-image has no authority over my life any more. As a matter of fact in this vision right now, the woman looking back at me looks rather ticked off. Hair, a blonde curly mess. Eyes, squinted in frustration. Lips curled in a snarl. Yeah. Okay. I see you.

This entire mirror worshipping, self-image enslavement culture, has been breathing down our necks for too long.

In this vision I am surrounded by every angle of myself, with mirrors yelling at me to criticize myself and step into the psychotic appearance mantra. Whether it’s an eating disorder or the deceivingly simple “just worrying what other people will think” continuous mindset, self-image is a consuming god that wants all of your worship. The only problem with it is, you were never meant to be afraid of man. Engraved self-image is what the media vomits over us every second of every day, but it is a deception. And thankfully there is light in this darkness. If you want to see your true reflection, look into Papa God’s eyes. In the vision as I look at my many reflections, I am filled with a holy anger at the familiar lies coming to choke out the freedom Christ intended for every person to have. I sense Holy Spirit here with me. He puts a baseball bat in my hand and tells me, “Have at it.” I’m filled with anger at that the thought of the countless girls and boys riddled with so much anxiety and fear that they can’t even see reality when they look at theirselves anymore. So many young people afraid to dream big and do what they are passionate about, what they were actually created to do, because it doesn’t fit into the duct-taped success box society stuffed them inside. So many people living every day completely consumed with fear of what others will say or think about them if they make one move that goes outside of the cultural norm. Enough is enough. With Holy Spirit’s words I give it a go. I begin smashing every single one of those self-image mirrors until there’s nothing but dust and fog. No more. The war on inaction has begun. No more sitting idly by while the walking dead roam the earth. I used to be a zombie, until the Cure found me. Jesus. Searching for temporary satisfaction, but now I found the real thing. Jesus. Whether it’s freedom to eat a salad or freedom to eat dessert. Whether it’s preaching the gospel on a stage, or praying for a crippled man to walk on the streets. I’m done worshipping my image and being afraid of man. I’m out here smashing mirrors. And it’s so not about me. It’s about God. And what He created us to have. Perfect relationship with Papa God through Jesus. That’s what you call, life, and life abundant. It’s not about me. It’s about you. God so loved..you. Don’t waste another thought in your mind thinking otherwise. Grab that lie and take it by the neck to kneel before the King on the throne of your heart. Jesus. Watch Him crush that slithering snake’s head before your eyes.

As I stand in this place with a baseball bat still hanging from my right hand, something tightens around my neck. It’s a thick chain that you may have seen a dog tied up with. The mirrors are gone, but now this is closing around my neck and pulling me back. I can’t yell and am losing the ability to even breathe. My nails dig into my skin as I try to loosen the hold on me, but I’m not strong enough. Suddenly I see Jesus standing before me. His eyes are wide and looking into mine. As if talking to a spooked child he gently steps toward me and says, “Put your hands down and let me take it off you.” I relent, and He pulls the chain up and over my head with ease. I can breathe again and I have my voice back. Jesus says, “This chain was shame.”

Shame. It chokes the life out of us. It keeps us silent. Shame holds back confession and stagnates change. It quiets a song and extinguishes a warrior’s battle cry. We were created for open fields with hair flowing in the wind. We were created to dance, laugh, love, scream just because we’re happy, run, skip, climb mountains, do the things, enjoy life with God, enjoy life with people, follow God’s wildest dreams, walk in His power and love. This is the garden that we can return to with Papa God through Christ.

I believe the Lord gave me this vision to identify some strongholds hindering the church in this season. Self-image and the fear of man, along with shame. It could look really glittery and religious. In fact it typically is. Jesus called them a “brood of vipers” when they tried to tape good fruit on their rotten trees. He’s after that heart transformation, that freedom from the inside out. But religion also institutes self-image and fear of man as well. It could look like a really bright and fine thing to quench the Spirit and trade in just an inch of your freedom in Christ to submit to the religious norms around you. Like conforming your appearance, your behavior, your words, and dreams to the degree of what’s acceptable by those around you, to the patterns of this world, is really the ‘right’ thing to do. Maybe it is. But maybe it isn’t. And maybe God is wanting you to let Him break through with freedom and release you into a greater revelation of the knowledge of Jesus Christ. No need to fear whatever mirrors surround you. Holy Spirit is with us, empowering us to walk out the fulness of intimacy with God. Maybe He’s offering you a baseball bat today and releasing you to smash some mirrors or empower someone else to smash theirs. Ask Him. Jesus is so present, so willing to take your shame and give you His inheritance. The First born inheritance is no joke, ya’ll! Let’s press in to God and go after walking out the full inheritance package Christ died for us to have. We don’t worship a dead god, no! Jesus is ALIVE. The tomb was empty. We need to quit looking for Jesus at the grave. He’s not there. Life. Life. He came for life. Let’s embrace it. Let’s embrace Papa God, Jesus, Holy Spirit- three in one. Talk to Him about all things. There’s so much He has for you, you only need to look up.


“No more livin’ for the culture, we nobody’s slave”

Spring is Here

The soft whisper of my Dad had me quietly grabbing my coat and exiting a morning’s community worship session. Come away with me. It was peculiar to have Him call me away from a moment of praise in the upper prayer room where most of the staff and students at our base were pressing into God. Still His voice was a steady drum beating in my bones. Come away with me. At the bottom of the stair case I put on my snow boats and headed towards the nearest window overlooking the snowy hills. As I beheld the beauty of Norway, I quickly understood why I was being called away from the crowd. With my face against the cold window I could hear the birds outside singing the most beautiful melody. Creation was literally worshipping the Lord alongside us. Once I heard the song of creation praising God, I just had to get as physically close to Him as I possibly could. Which at that moment, looked like me running outside to join the birds. Feet crunching through slush and a chill kissing my face, I stood face to face with the sun, and was wholly enveloped within the chorus of the birds. I stood there, basking in the glory of Almighty. I don’t know how long I stood with eyes closed and heart abandoned in a hidden, secret place with my Dad. The sun had never felt so gentle as it caressed my cheek against the crisp air. The breeze blew swiftly against me and I felt my feet lift up off of the ground; and so, so suddenly.. I was flying. Yes, you read that right. For the briefest of moments I was really flying with God. Why here? This amazing moment, a moment I’ve longed for my entire life, here entangled with the Lord in an icy parking lot. Nothing really mattered, not even my wonder, nothing except this intimacy with the Lord. This secret place, that Him and I share, taken to a deeper place. Meant for only us, and yet also meant for everyone. The great mystery.

The moment my awareness kicked in, time snapped back into place and I was once again standing on my tip toes completely awestruck. Did that really just happen? I could’ve remained there for ages- I yearn to, but class was soon starting so I buried that kiss from God deep within my soul and walked on.

It’s amazing, the love the Father pours out over us. He is so good, so gracious and compassionate. His love never fails, and His mercies are new every morning. Today is the day of salvation. He longs for you. He longs for a relationship; a deep, deep love with you.


There will be no witty blog from me today. Just a simple testimony to the goodness of God, the depths of intimacy available with God. Despite the intense sufferings my family has faced-not only in taking up our cross and moving across the world but also amidst disease coming at one of our close loved ones whom we can’t physically be beside-despite every suffering, the goodness and sweetness of God remains. The love of God is steadfast, and He is completely wrecking with this love. He remains unchanging.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.

Psalm 23 ESV

Though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, we shall fear no evil for God is with us. We can dance while we cry, we can laugh while we grieve. We can look the devil in the face and remind him that he can never kill us. We get to live forever, with the King of Kings-whom is both Higher than I, and yet closer than my skin. The victory is ours, because of Jesus. And as if eternal salvation wasn’t enough, He wants to relationship with us here on earth now. We can tap into eternity with God right here and now. So good. Just, woah.

To really desire God and God alone; to know God and to make Him known. This has become the song of my heart pressing me on. God is calling you deeper. Are you all in?