My Trunk

Will the real you please stand up?

I started this blog as a way to publish one of my spoken words, My Surrender Moment, written in 2014. Two years later when my husband and I started a Christian ministry, I would occasionally post the studies that I wrote and taught our women’s group. At that point it kind of shifted into a … Continue reading Will the real you please stand up?

I started this blog as a way to publish one of my spoken words, My Surrender Moment, written in 2014. Two years later when my husband and I started a Christian ministry, I would occasionally post the studies that I wrote and taught our women’s group. At that point it kind of shifted into a biblical teaching blog.

Wow! We have made it a long way from there. Laceingrace has slowly transformed into a more and more authentic picture of my life with God. The smoke screen has dissipated revealing more truth overtime. Now there is nothing left hiding the real me from you all. In saying ‘real’ I don’t mean forced, brutal transparency in an attempt to relate to you and convert you. No, that girl wasn’t authentic in her motives either. Now there’s a genuine glimpse in the many agendas that once weighed me down! I’ve thrown them all away and taken on a new burden. The one that isn’t really a burden at all. I am yoked up with Jesus and just enjoying Him. Really and truly enjoying Him in every part of myself.

In all honesty I have no idea where my blog is going now (or my life), and I’m not really sorry about that. I have little to offer you except myself. This is me. Not the me who wants to lead you, or fix you, just the broken me who needs Jesus as much as you do. So I hope you will still have me, but I will be okay if you don’t. And I don’t write that in an abrasive or hostile way, I’ve simply cast off my people-pleasing hat. I’ve burned out the lie whispering that the real me isn’t good enough for you, or Jesus, or for accomplishing His commission. I thought I had to be this falsely perfect girl to make an impact. That lie is oh so damaging, internally and outwardly. This is my public confession that I will actively stop trying to save the world. That is falsely glorified idolatry. Jesus already did that for you and I. What I will do is this..I will continue to press into Christ, to tap into His river of life and allow it to overflow to you all. I won’t conjure up what isn’t mine. I won’t pretend.

Here is the real me. Here is the overwhelming grace of God working in my life. Here is the unconditional, unrelenting love of God working in my heart that just makes no sense to my human brain.


With that being said, no, I wasn’t always intentionally fake before. I think ‘fake’ becomes our default setting after so long of calloused hearts, confused self-expectations, and a plethora of other misfiring neurons. For example, when asked how you’re doing you reply with no hesitation “good!”. But what about the days when you’re not good? Who are you when no filter can cover up the shadows wrecking your heart?

The bottom line is that my soul has merely been on a journey home, a journey of peeling back the layers of myself to mold more completely with my Savior, to lay hold of that which He laid hold of for me. The closer I get, the more real I get. I have not yet fully arrived, but I have reached a new level that is closer. And that’s enough. So together, lets go deeper with Christ.

What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippains 3:7-14 NIV)



Here’s a cover I did over a song that speaks to me right where I am in this place and I pray it ministers to you as well- Save Me by Steffany Gretzinger.

Le Carnival des Animaux

Around and around.

The andante cello carries their gentle, barefoot steps as they skip across the sun-kissed grass. She isn’t sure where the music is coming from, but she sees it in His eyes as He gazes into her own. She can feel the legato piano in the warmth of the high-noon breeze. He is singing to her, and she to Him. Her stomach jumps as if carried by a dozen flitting butterflies. A laugh bounces from her lips, akin to a flute’s spring concerto. This is her element. Here with Him. Her comfort. Her head leans back in the pull of their whirl, and her eyes tilt up with bliss. This moment is all she knows; this dance, all she needs.

This shared breath with Him right now is enough life to fill an eternity.

“Yes, you’re right. I’m here with you”, she hears Him say in response to her thoughts. Or was she so caught up in the moment that she said it out loud? She doesn’t understand, and she doesn’t try to. She just exists in this today with Him. She closes her eyes with divine ecstasy and, in His arms, drifts away.

Around and around, together they sway.

A blur of blue, green and gold outline His face whilst they spin throughout the open field. She smiles at Him as her breath is whisked away. The sweet smell of wildflowers and morning dew wash over them in the electrifying way only nature can. He is captivated by her joy.

“My Beloved.”, He whispers in harmony with a nearby brook gliding over stones. She can hear the smile in His voice as He tenderly speaks her name. This is the purest form of intimacy. Untouched by anything less than true love. Both child and Bride, she finds her authentic identity in His embrace; young and old, she experiences eternity in His presence. Purity and innocence, joy and peace. This is the rawest form of love and she can feel it so tangibly here with Him. He holds her hands and together they spin as the world rapidly swirls around them. He is the barycenter of all creation, and He chooses to dance with her. Humbled in the weight of this truth and confident in the wonder of this love, she remains with Him in the now. And the universe orbits around their dance.

He releases her right hand and she spins out with elation. He pulls her to Him again and together they fall back onto the soft earth. For a moment they lay there surveying the sky in search of animals in the clouds. He laughs, pleased with her creative imagination. She sits up and picks the flowers flaring up around them. He twists them into a crown and rests it atop her head. With knees pulled up to her chest, she closes her eyes in comfortable delight and is radiant. Radiant with the Light of the One sitting cross-legged before her. This is life. This is everything.

She opens her eyes and looks at Him for a moment longer. This time He is gazing at her with a bittersweet, burning truth. He’s trying to relay a message to her. What is He saying? You’re about to go. Go where? She’s unsure what’s happening, but she knows that He wants her to remember this time with Him, this place, this love. He hugs her and in the twinkling of an eye she’s somewhere else. Suddenly she feels stiff, coldness beneath her back where moments before she felt warm ground. The smell of decaying flowers and antiseptic cleaner flood her nostrils. Her eyes are shut and her limbs heavy with fatigue. The whirring of a machine beeps repeatedly to her right, in synch with her thrumming headache. Someone snores softly to her left. Where could she be? Where did He go? She feels the whisper of their dance in the forefront of her mind. She can sense His presence still, even here, though it is all much more cloaked compared to the vibrancy of before. Her brain can’t wrap around the sudden change. What’s going on?

Her heart begins to pound quickly against her chest, and her throat restricts in panic. A door adjacent to her creaks open as heavy steps thud across the floor. The sound of rustling papers and clicking plastic hover beside her. Hesitantly she opens her eyes, and…

[To Be Continued]


It has been on my heart for a while now to begin writing a Christian fiction novel. Literature is a huge part of my life. Growing up, books were my happy place. My escape. Fiction, fantasy, romance, non-fiction, tragedy, historical. You name it, I read it. Cracking open a book has always given me the freedom to learn anything I wanted, to go anywhere I wanted, to be anyone I wanted, and to explore my wildest dreams within crisp pages. Imagination is in my default setting. Now, of course, the series and novels I read growing up did not always point to Christ. In my teenage years, some of the literature I chose to run away in actually led me on a journey further away from Him.

As I have been adventuring with Jesus deeper within myself and farther into His kingdom, He has shown me the truest and purest form of desires within myself that over time have grown to be corrupted by words, circumstances and plots of the enemy. The pure, child-like essence of these desires were placed by God inside me with the intent to bring Him glory. Creative imagination is one of them. So here I am, trying something new and writing a novel out of obedience. Here is a little teaser, and as this is my first book, have a little mercy on me! I don’t have a title yet, but I will share snippets of more periodically every month as the story grows. Stay tuned for more and be blessed in Christ!


This scene is inspired by a vision the Lord gave me last year of myself as a young girl spinning around with Jesus in the open fields. It all began blossoming yesterday afternoon upon hearing one of my favorite classical masterpieces. Close your eyes and see yourself dancing with Jesus as you take a listen to this movements of the classical piece, Les Carnival de Animaux– Saint-Saëns:


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July’s Worship Playlist

I said I would start sending out my monthly recommended worship playlist, and here I am following through. I’m currently patting myself on the back for finally gaining some maturity in commitment; and slightly kidding….slightly.

All jokes aside, here is July’s worship playlist “Faith Increase” I compiled on my YouTube channel filled with worship songs from churches and worship groups all over the world including Hillsong, Bethel, United Pursuit and Housefires . This worship playlist is a seesaw of songs from centering on who God is, to fanning into the flame of faith within us to persevere and trust. As I have been singing these songs to the Lord, my posture towards God has moved into a deeper reverence and trust. With every new possibility and present struggle in my life right now, I confess my weaknesses and need of the Lord’s grace. I could use an extra daily dose of praise and an increase of faith. Maybe you could too. So I pray as you praise and worship God with these songs, you have a surge of increased faith. Take a journey deeper into faith with this music and be blessed in Christ!


  • “Emptiness” by United Pursuit (Will Reagan & Brock Human)

This is the first song on the list because it is the first one I heard in the midst of an emotional pit I was stuck in for a few days whilst the end of June transitioned into July. As I’ve previously mentioned in my post Journey to the Center of Me,  I have been reading a book filled with testimonies and scriptures that help usher the reader into true rest for their soul. It’s been a real journey full of valleys and mountains and lots and lots of God’s healing, reviving, renewing love. This song was a rope extending to the lowest of lows I laid curled up in and helped me climb out.

  • “This Love (Spontaneous)” by Housefires II (ft. Pat Barrett)

God’s love is so much deeper than we know. Our mundane brains just can’t fathom the endless levels of His pure and overwhelming love. As Barrett sings in the Holy Spirit a new song, you catch a glimpse of the height, width and depth of God’s never-ending love though even here we are barely scratching the surface. This song is full of truth that can counter any lie the enemy would try to whisper in your mind.

  • “Pieces (Spontaneous)” by Amanda Cook (Bethel Music)

In the previous song we are faced with God’s ever-present love. God is love (1 John 4:8). This song amplifies the nature of God and tells our soul the truth of who He really is. It’s so beautiful. Amanda’s first words sung in this incredible spontaneous version of the song are “You’re giving us new memories, You’re giving us new memories. To all the places shame wrote our story, You’re giving us new memories. It’s not just perspective, it’s innocence restored

  • “Into Faith I Go” by Pat Barrett

If I had one song I could share with you in hopes of fanning into your inner flame it would be this one. I saw Pat’s new album and this was the one that stuck out. I was wrecked by the words as this song washed over me and met me exactly where I was (and continues to do so). Verses 1 & 2 “I’ve never been good at change/If I’m honest it’s always scared me/ But I can’t deny this stirring deep inside me/Now it’s time to stop resisting”

  • “Abba, I Belong to You” by Jonathan David Helser

As I journeyed deeper within myself and therefore deeper with God, this song vocalized what I felt internally. The Father relationship we have with God is such an important part of our intimacy with Him, and it’s again one I’ve barely scratched the surface with. The song plunges me into the my heavenly Daddy’s arms.

  • “Speak to Me| Defender | Closer” by Bethel Church (ft. Kari Jobe Carnes)

“Defender” by Rita Springer and “Closer” by Steffany Gretzinger are two songs that have been true heart cries of mine over the passed several days. So to find this wildly anointed medley of three intense worship songs was just a knock out of the ballpark for me.

  • “Way Maker” by Sinach

Why did I hear this song for the very first time last week? I don’t know, but it came at the perfect time. Wow. My husband and I were at a worship night led by Leeland from Bethel and I was working through some things that just weren’t sitting well with me spiritually. At the beginning of the worship night I kept asking God to show all of us who He really is. To make His true Self known. I sang it over and over. A hairsbreadth of a second later, Leeland begins singing this song, “Way Maker, Miracle Worker/ Promise Keeper, Light in the Darkness/ my God, that is who You are“. Needless to say, I lost it. My body took over and I jumped like a fool, totally wrecked by the enormity of who God is.

  • Hidden” by United Pursuit (ft. Will Reagan)

This song is a declaration song. Though I don’t always feel in my heart the words of praise I am singing to God, this one brought me into the place of finally feeling it. The truth of the Gospel of Jesus in this song brought about the change in perspective I needed.

  • “Bitter/Sweet (Spontaneous)” by Bethel Music (ft. Amanda Cook)

Here we switch gears into facing the truth of who God is and what He does. This song speaks truth over the lies that would try to drown us. In Mark 9:24 a man tells Jesus,“Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!”. As I sing this song I experience the transformation of any hidden unbelief dissolving into pure belief. That’s just what happens when you meditate on who God is, and that’s exactly what this song does.

  • “Getting There” by Steffany Gretzinger

Another song to perfectly proclaim faith in the process of getting to the promise. I love this song! Steffany is one of the most inspiring women of Christ and I absolutely love her album “The Undoing“. These lyrics are nothing but raw truth as we all journey through the process of life, “But there’s a reason for the journey/ There is purpose in the learning/ That not everything in life comes naturally/ No, not everything in life comes easily/ But we’re getting there”

  • “Hidden” by Mosaic MSC

I almost put the well known song “Oceans” by Hillsong United on this list because it really does usher us into a place of faith and trust in God as we walk on the water, but this song does as well and it’s different! This song is so good; it’s by Mosaic whom I have fallen in love with for their unique style of declaring truth and victory in Christ.

  • “Psalm 46” by Shane & Shane

Last but by no means least, this song I have newly discover will totally rock your world. You have to have to HAVE TO listen to this. And then listen again. And again. Until you know the words and can scream them with your deepest heart cry! This is one of those songs that you hear and think you have heard it before because it just feels like home in your spirit. You will love this one!


And there you have it folks, July’s worship playlist! I hope you not only enjoy the incredibly creative and anointed music in this playlist, but also are taken deeper with the Lord as you worship Him. May your faith be increased!