Spirit and Truth

The humming first note in a violin’s gentle melody pierced the car ride home. Home. The low hanging moon snagged my attention as I gazed across the large lake encompassed by small mountains. Home. Where is that anymore? The violin ministered a supernatural song that sounded so like my Dad in Heaven’s voice.

Yes, this is Me.

Whoah. The melody tugged me upward towards that waning moon shining crystalline as it shared the sky with the setting sun. While the notes of the violin increased in a crescendo my heart swelled with inexplicable love. This was a dance between Him and I. I felt the swaying, the climatic back and forth, as I struggled to believe a love so deep.

This is real.

He told me again and again: I love you, Lacey.

He says He loves me because He loves me, because He loves, because He loves me, because that’s who He is, that’s what He does. God is love. The crashing love rolled over me like a tidal wave, sucking the dusty air out of me and flooding my lungs with grace. In a season of mystery where everything feels possible and yet still too good to be true, do I trust Your leading? His reminding of His goodness caressed my brain and dissolved all unbelief. Yes, I trust You with everything I have. The love of God hit me to the core and tore down the lingering belief systems and self-protecting mindsets I had presumptuously left uncharted within. And I felt the peace that surpasses all understanding come in like a wind blowing away the fog. He loves me, and He has me in His hands.

This is wild, right? I’m away from everything I’ve ever “known” here on earth, yet I’ve never felt more at home. Not always physically, but right here in the hallways of my heart, the depths of my soul, deep into the marrow of my bones. The Lord gently leads me on. And as I press in to actually speaking to Him and listening to His response, God the Father, Holy Spirit, and Jesus are becoming more tangible. My faith is more evident to me.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Matthew 11:28 (MSG)

Those unforced rhythms of grace made up the very song hitting me within that violin. So here I stand on the edge of the horizon, letting go of myself long enough to be caught in the arms of Jesus- the very surrendering He died to make possible. Though I always strived to, I’m seeing that it’s not so centered on me loving Him as it is foundational to let Him love me first. Every second of every day. To worship in spirit and truth. Love is the key, and there’s an order to it that I just can’t afford to miss: receiving His love, pouring it back to Him, then turning that love towards myself, and bursting it out towards other people (Matthew 22:37-39). A heart tapped into the streams of living water, and from there everything changes.

Photo taken by Adine Schweizer
Song referenced above

My Journal

An excerpt from my journal..


October 18, 2018

Today is Brenner and I’s fourth year anniversary! I love him so much. More and more every day. Last night I tossed and turned most of the night. I was so tired, but I couldn’t sleep. My mind was racing. We spoke to ****** yesterday and they were quite discouraging [in regards to our missionary decisions]. Doubt, fear, worry, and anxiety riddled me. Then I finally heard the Lord tell me that He is The Sea Splitter, that He makes a way where there was no way. I saw the sea before us part and the Lord surround us fully. Yesterday I also had a vision of Jesus lifting me up and putting me on His shoulders: Shepherd and lamb. I began a painting of the split sea today.

Exodus 14

The Lord leads them [the Israelites] to a dead end. Though this position may look foolish to peopleGod uses “the foolish things to confound the wise” [1 Corin. 1:27] and from there they [onlookers, enemies] will know that YAH is Lord. Those in bondage will attempt to keep us in bondage. But who the Son sets free is free INDEED [John 8:36]!

When the enemy [oppression] draws near, lift your eyes to YAH. Draw near to Him alone.

“And Moses said to the people, ‘Do not be afraid. Stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will accomplish today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall see again no more forever. The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace.'” [Exodus 14:13-14]

God’s response to them [the Israelites’ fear]: GO FORWARD. You lift your rod and stretch out your hand to divide the sea before you. You have authority to act, and I will respond with my power.

The Angel of the Lord, Jesus, is before and behind us. We are hemmed in [Psalm 139:5-6]. 

Moses stretched out his hand by faith over the sea and God caused the water to part. He moves when we move.

The Lord fights for us.


I wrote that at daybreak yesterday morning. Later that same day I got into a car wreck that honestly could have been avoided had I been paying closer attention. I turned too sharply on to a road and side swiped another car. I was completely embarrassed by the mistake, but mostly I was convicted. Pay attention. That was more than just advice in the moment from a Father to His daughter’s flooded brain. The Lord wanted me to hear a deeper message in those words. He wants me to be more aware of my surroundings in the spiritual realm as well as the physical. I am constantly “driving” around life, if you will. Constantly making decisions, going here, going there. And the enemy would love nothing more than to distract me. Recently those distractions have looked like fear and worry, and sometimes even seemingly “holy” tasks. This is why aligning ourselves with God is so important. The enemy is looking for an empty house to enter. When we, instead, fill ourselves up with the fulness of God (Philippians 4), there is no room for the author of confusion to spin lies.

The Lord is faithful, and He is good. He reminds me where to look and what I am being called to. Despite the impossible tasks before me, He is able. I will not be afraid. One battle strategy being that I will prayerfully journal my way through this life. Not for God’s sake, but for my own fragile humanity. Because in my intense emotions, I can forget what He said. I can be distracted. But the Word of God never returns void. I am standing on His promises today. And pray that you will to. So suit up, fellow warrior. Let’s not be naive to the warfare going on around us, and let’s also not be afraid. Instead let us boldly chase the lion and conquer it. The victory is ours. And though we may physically feel cornered and surrounded by enemies, this is an illusion. The true reality is that the Great I AM is hemming us in. He is behind us and before us. We can boldly obey the Lord’s command, lifting our hand before the impossible with the authority of Christ, and He will split the sea. Go forward in faith. He is there.

Chair of Hope

Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.” (Proverbs 31:10)

During the service at our church this morning, this scripture came to mind as Brenner and I sat beside my dear friend who had two of her children clinging to her. Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.” (Proverbs 31:10). Powerful stuff. . The word ‘virtuous’ in the original Hebrew text is  חָ֫יִל (chayil) which means army, band of soldiers, able, mighty, riches, strength. Knowing that full definition, brings this scripture to life even more. The way our world has portrayed the image of women is one of lesser being, weak, and inferior. But here we see the call for a virtuous woman, a mighty woman, a woman who is a force to be reckoned with both in strength and riches. Women of God, this is us. This kind of virtue can not be mustered up from one’s own strength; how could one person also be an entire army? It almost sounds like a paradox. But with the Lord of hosts, we can be both. Take a look at Psalm 18. By God I can run against a troop of soldiers. By God I can leap over a wall. Now, I typically wear skinny jeans. It’s just my preferred choice and who knows? At age 24, maybe I’m still stuck in my Myspace and Paramore punk fashion days. But no matter what I’m wearing, there is no way I could just stare up at a wall and leap over it. However, with the help of our Merciful Lord, gracious and compassionate to the skinny jean wearers like me, you bet your bottom dollar, I could jump over that wall. Whether you take those verses as literal or spiritual strength given to us from the Lord, the promises are still true. The Psalm goes on to say that God is a shield to all who trust in Him, that our Lord is Sovereign God and a rock.

 “It is God who arms me with strengthAnd makes my way perfectHe makes my feet like the feet of deer, And sets me on my high placesHe teaches my hands to make war, So that my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You have also given me the shield of Your salvationYour right hand has held me upYour gentleness has made me greatYou enlarged my path under me, So my feet did not slip I have pursued my enemies and overtaken themNeither did I turn back again till they were destroyed” (Psalm 18:32-37 NKJV)

That’s incredible. That is virtuous, a promise from the Lord of hosts to those of us who would place our trust in Him. As the Lord makes us virtuous and set up for battle as we see here in Psalm 18, what man or devil could stand against us? The answer is none. My dear friend sitting next to my family at church this morning is a virtuous wife. Her value truly is exceedingly greater than rubies. For many years now, she has attended church with her children and without her husband. Her husband has yet to place his faith and trust in the Lord, though there are a troop of us saints that are praying him in. Still regardless of who stands with her, she stands tall on the foundation of Christ and teaches her children all about the one true God who gives her strength. Already a great deal of people in her family have witnessed her steadfast, virtuous faith and have turned their lives over to Jesus Yeshua the Messiah. She carries the light of Christ with her everywhere she goes; that light is pursuing and eliminating all darkness that would dare step foot near the holy ground beneath her feet as she walks hand-in-hand with the Holy One. The next verse in Proverbs 31 is an amazing turning point as well:

“The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain” (Proverbs 31:11)

There is no gain, no inheritance greater than that which comes from salvation through Jesus the Messiah.

My dear friend’s kids refused to go to Sunday school class this morning, and so did my little Laz. Still we all sat on the front row as one big family and worshipped God with our kids. As I sat beside her and saw her littles laying across her lap or sitting at her feet, I noticed an empty chair popped up between us. In the juggle of having three young children wiggle and giggle through a church message, a seat was made available between my friend and I. In that moment I thought it coincidental, but as I type out her testimony I see the hope. That chair is a promise for her family that her husband will have no lack of gain.

Today the Lord wants you to see the chair of hope sitting next to you as well. What is the mountain in front of you? The thing that makes you feel so small, and so impossible? Friends, I tell you that as you put your trust in the Sovereign Lord, you are equipped with everything you need for the challenge. Abide in Him, let Him fill you with steadfastness and strength.

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Check out my new worship cover and pray for my family as we have recently been accepted to a missions school with YWAM in Norway!